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2. Falling asleep. Don’t even start if you don’t think you’ll make it. There is always morning sex.

3. Uncensored talk. Baby talk, impersonations and animal noises, unless previously established, are all out. I don’t know anyone who wants to sleep with Peter Griffin or any other cartoon character. Dirty talk, talking in character when role playing and pleasure noises are OK.

4. Screw them and leave them. It’s not polite to get up and go immediately after sex, unless asked to, of course. And if you must shower right away, at least invite the other person to join in on the fun. People are not short-order sex.

5. Pulling the porn move. Do not try anything you see in a porno flick. You won’t have the same results.

6. Climaxing too soon or not soon enough. Premature ejaculation is not cool and is preventable, so don’t use it as an excuse. However, if they wanted a marathon, they would run one.

7. Storing your contraceptives at the opposite end of your room. No one enjoys waiting for you to get up and retrieve a condom or dental dam from across a bedroom.

8. Not getting your partner off. Since when did anyone think it was OK to get off and then be done? Selfish sex is not okay. Always attend to your partner as well.

9. Discussing your ex. Never bring up previous lovers when you’re being intimate with someone else. Such as “My ex used to love it when I . . ."

10. Leaving visible evidence. There is plenty of space on the body that isn’t visible with clothing on. Some people like a nibble on the neckčthey just don’t want everyone else to see it the next day.

Oversights: Here is a list of things you may not be sure are okay or you may completely overlook, but that you should definitely do more of. Keep these in mind for next time.

1. Oral sex. This is really important in foreplay. It is a different sensation that gets people going. Don’t forget about it.

2. Setting the mood. You may think it’s cheesy, but it does help to achieve a sexy atmosphere. Candles and music are good, just don’t go over the top.

3. Kissing. Kissing is a great way to slow things down and take your time. Plus, it is very sensual.

4. Role playing. Explore what you think is sexy and play out your sexual fantasy. What could be hotter than that?

5. New positions. The main three just don’t cut it anymore. Experiment with how flexible you and your partner can be.

6. Take control sometimes. Be spontaneous and do something unexpected. Show your partner what you want and how you want it.

7. Make some noise. It’s nice to let your partner know, vocally, that you’re feeling pleasure. Try not to wake your neighbors up.

8. Touch all over. Kissing, nibbling, licking or massaging everywhere and anywhere is a necessary thing. Just remember what we have said about leaving marks and the ass.

9. Make it rough. This can be fun once in awhile, but if they look like they’re in pain, maybe take it down a notch. Try biting, scratching, tugging hair, etc.

10. Bring a toy. Everyone really enjoys playing with toys by themselves. Now imagine you, that toy, and that special someone. Talk about a good time.

Disclaimer: Beyond the Bedroom: erotic expertise is a column devoted to advice and questions, sometimes fabricated, but often based on real-life experiences and concerns about sexual and relationship health. Stevie Hottman and Kelly Walsh have aspirations of being sex experts, but have no professional training. Please direct questions to oracle@hamline.edu or MB 106.