Oracle Online

Thomas Kinkade

An artist like Thomas Kinkade, so esteemed that he’s secured a regular spot on QVC hawking prints of his saccharine utopian paintings, certainly deserves a film to honor his life. Currently titled A Christmas Cottage, the movie will based on a Kinkade painting of the same name, and will contain biographical elements that detail how Kinkade was first inspired to pursue a career as an artist. The movie will be the first in a series of three about the painter; each film will be based on a different painting and time in Kinkade’s life.

So far, only a handful of actors have stepped up to the plate. Among them is Peter O’Toole, eight-time Oscar nominee and T.E. Lawrence in 1962’s Lawrence of Arabia. He will portray Glen Weissler, a painter-mentor of Kinkade’s.

Since this film may actually play in movie theaters (not just on the Lifetime Movie Network or the Hallmark Channel), I would suggest that you take your grandma to see it when it’s released sometime during the 2007 holiday seasončI’m sure she loved Petey then and she’s guaranteed to love him now. If nothing else, it’s still a better idea than the Grindhouse / 300 double feature that’ll be playing at the cheap theater down the street.

Jenna Jameson

Soon after penning a near-Pulitzer Prize or Oprah Book Club-worthy memoir, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, author Jenna Jameson began formulating plans to turn the book into a movie. A recent botched vaginoplasty, divorce, and drastic weight loss, however, have pushed Jenna into relative seclusion and Hollywood execs are considering scraping the project. Still, having made her imprint on over 100 “films” already, it is unlikely that she will be terribly hurt by one less project in her ever-expanding IMD resume.

The Bratz

Those sassy “role models” who have been rivaling Barbie in toy aisles since 2001 have finally staked their claim in celluloid. Though not technically a biopic, the live-action movie will follow a group of four Bratz (all BFF’s, of course) to high school where they deal with the gut-wrenching trauma of cliques and the separation of their inner-circle.

Of course, there is also a pesky student body president that the girls must constantly deal with. Conveniently enough, this antagonist happens to be the daughter of the school principal (Jon Voight). Voight, once known for his Academy Award-nominated role in 1969’s Midnight Cowboy as Joe Buck has, in recent years, let his career go down the proverbial toilet. Still, Bratz: The Movie fits in nicely amongst his other great films of late like SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 and The Karate Dog.