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November 21, 2006

The Ugly, the Pretty Sweet, and the Bet You Didn't Know

Staff Writer

The Ugly

As if corporate sponsorship wasn’t already damaging enough in its influence of teams relocating to other cities (see this column last week), it seems that college football bowls are no longer safe. To avoid weeping myself to sleep, I think of a simpler time. Once upon a time, there was the Orange Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the Fiesta Bowl, etc. Those were happy days.
Enter corporate sponsorship. Whaddya get? The Fed-Ex Orange Bowl, the Nokia Sugar Bowl, the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, and many more that will curdle your blood.

The Peach Bowl, an institution in college football, was bought by Chick-Fil-A in 1997. It then became the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl. Fair enough. I haven’t thrown up yet, but I can still taste a little vomit in the back of my throat. Alas, this year the corporate sponsor eliminated the “Peach” from the “Peach Bowl.” The result: the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. Ridiculous. How about we remove “Weather” from “The Weather Channel”?

I think corporations have a deep-seeded hatred of fruit (pun intended) because their tyrannical blitzkrieg of college bowl sponsorship has extended from peaches to tangerines. The Tangerine Bowl, another timeless bowl game, was bought out by Capital One. Like Chick-Fil-A, Capital One bid to remove the fruit from the title. Is there any civilization? Capital One Bowl? “What’s in your wallet?” A fork. I keep it with me at all times, so that if I am unfortunate enough to think about the bastardization of college bowl games, I can use the fork to stab myself. You may be wondering, “why?” In the words of Lewis Black, “To distract myself from the pain.”

The list of ridiculous bowl game names includes some real winners. For starters, you have the Meineke Car Care Bowl. Riveting. Don’t forget about the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl presented by Bridgestone. Finally, one can’t conceive of a bowl season without the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl.

I’ll be the first to tell you some traditions need re-working, or in some cases, complete elimination (segregation, anyone?). But please, leave college bowl names alone. Some things are better left untouched. Some things are better kept sacred. It seems as though this rant is futile, as the current pillaging of college bowl game names has likely just begun.

The Pretty Sweet

Bobby Knight, 10 wins away from dethroning Dean Smith as the winningest coach in NCAA D-I basketball, is in the news not for his on-court achievements, but for alleged violence against one of his players. Why is this pretty sweet? I’ll tell you: Bob Knight is demonstrating how old school coaching tactics can teach lessons.

Michael Prince, Texas Tech’s sophomore forward, made an errant pass and returned to the bench with his head drooping in disappointment. Coach Knight appeared to scream at Prince (although in a crowded game environment, there is no such thing as “calm discussion”), close his fist and pop his chin upwards, as if to get his attention. In Knight's defense, he was telling Prince that the team needed him to stay positive. Knight told Prince to forget about the bad pass. At the moment his fist reached Prince’s chin, he was telling Prince to keep his chin up.

The formula is pretty simple: get the young player to focus, and take a tender moment of encouragement and dress it up with some old-school discipline.

Unfortunately, the event is being summed up almost unilaterally by pundits and reporters as appalling and unacceptable. Please folks, let's not miss the point. Any person in his or her right mind opposes violence in a coach-player setting. However, what transpired last week was not violence. It wasn’t even an egregious display of discipline. It was simply a passionate coach trying to get his young player to keep trying and believe in himself.

I understand that Bobby Knight’s personal history is the greatest reason this minor event has received such a high level of media coverage. Knight has graced us with chair-throwing and more than a few profanity-ridden press conferences. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean his every action should be scrutinized until all the joy of his career is sucked out.

I say huzzah for old-school coaching. I say congrats to Bobby Knight for working his way to most wins. I say three cheers to Coach Knight, despite his often regrettable behavior, running one of the cleanest programs in all of basketball.

Bet You Didn’t Know

Francois-Marie Arouet, better known by his pen name Voltaire, was born on this day in 1694. Voltaire, one of the most influential philosophers of his time, is notorious for his strong leg. He once punted a Bible a quarter of a mile.

Troy Aikman turns 40 today. The recent Hall of Fame inductee spent 11 years as quarterback for “America’s Team,” the Dallas Cowboys. Aikman walked away from the game at the young age of 34 in 2000. Many look at his three Superbowl victories as being the most prominent achievements of his career. Personally, I think managing the huddle alongside a cocaine-addict loudmouth, Michael Irvin, is even more impressive.

It was on this day in 1972 when President George W. Bush (a.k.a. “G-Dubs”, “Dubyah”, “Fool me... can’t get fooled again”) was honorably discharged from the Texas Air National Guard. This event took place only three years after Bush’s rugby days at Yale. A photograph taken of Bush, wherein feet off the ground, he sucker punches his opponent, best sums up Bush’s rugby career. It should be noted that a play is illegal if both of one’s feet are off the ground. Oh yeah, and punching is also against the rules.

Posted by dwright at November 21, 2006 08:27 PM

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