Oracle Online

In my trick-or-treat exploits last week, I actually came across a young man who went as the Vikings version of Daunte Culpepper. When his pocket of fellow trick-or-treaters collapsed around him he inexplicably fumbled his bag of candy, picked it back up, scrambled behind a bush and threw the bag to another trick-or-treator who returned the intercepted candyskin several yards for a touchdown. I didn’t catch the rest of the exchange, but I believe I heard the little Pep ask for a bigger contract.

We have to put an end to this ex-player jersey business. Let's start now. I promise to hold an intervention for friends of mine who suffer from this post-traumatic jersey syndrome, so long as you do. C’mon, don’t tell me you’ve never been at a sweet party only for a Joe Namath Rams jersey-wielding patron to enter the room and completely kill the buzz. You can hear crickets chirp. Awkward.

Pretty Sweet

If three different Hamline teams’ success isn’t sweet, then I don’t know what is. First, hats off to the volleyball team. Despite a first round MIAC playoff loss to St. Thomas, this team has a lot to be proud of.

The men's cross country team takes second in the MIAC Championship, following a massive leap to fifth in the national rankings. This experienced team has been consistently good all year and its nice to see the hard work pay off. Minor request: mandate requirement of PF Flyers as the official cross country shoe and I’m confident we can take first. Best wishes to the team at the NCAA Central Regionals on Saturday, Nov. 11 at St. Olaf.

Congratulations on a great year for the men's soccer team! Despite hitting a dry spot in mid-October, the Pipers put together a gutsy performance against St. John's, earning them a spot in the MIAC finals. Early in the year it was as if the other team’s goalkeepers were removed and the nets were made bigger, as the Pipers offense put up big numbers. Down the stretch, however, it was more about stout defense. No matter how they got it done, stand up Pipers, and be proud of this team’s success.

Bet You Didn’t Know

Professional wrestler Mark Copani turns 25 today. Copani is most famous for his controversial WWE character Muhammad Hassan. Copani’s career was cut short after the fallout of a repugnant skit in which he began to “pray” during a match, summoning five masked figures that came out and maliciously beat his opponent. Why put this in a sports column? Well, wrestling is a sport (if we change the definition of sports to include having a predetermined winner and ignorant, racially motivated stunts).

Nov. 7 is also former pitcher Joe Niekro’s birthday. Niekro, who tragically passed away of a brain aneurism Oct. 27, was a part of the Twins ’87 World Series team.

It was on this day in 1991 that famed basketball player Magic Johnson announced he had tested positive for HIV and would be retiring. While basketball lost the on-court presence of an all-time great, the world gained a champion for HIV and AIDS awareness.

The easiest way to get free hugs and high-fives: be in the city of the team who wins the World Series on the night of victory. The Oracle’s annual journalism conference landed us in St. Louis a few weeks ago. Truthfully, I wanted the Tigers to win, but it was difficult to go against the grain on the night of game five. Immediately preceding the Cardinals victory, fans filled the streets. During and following the victory, a record number of free hugs and high-fives were divvied out. It didn’t matter if you were tall, short, or had green skin. If you were wearing any red, you got some love. If I told people I was a shoemaker from Cheboygan I got the same response as if I said I was Albert Pujol’s cousin. For one night, that city was completely united. Inebriated? Sure. But first and foremost, united. As a fan of sports I definitely recommend experiencing a similar situation.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Darren Sharper Packers jersey to go destroy.