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Howard, who writes around 25 citations a day, says students are creative when it comes to getting out of tickets. The office keeps a list of the most common excuses cited on appeals on its front desk, but Howard says it’s the humorous ones that keep the job exciting.

“I think last week, I got one of the best laughs of my life, frankly, reading the appeals,” she said. “It was a bad day, so I needed that laugh.”

Indeed, because forging permits is such an ever-popular choice, sometimes students don’t even try to come up with excuses.

A couple of years ago, Howard was clamping the wheels of an offending car when the owner made a surprise appearance.

“Probably the most honest person I’ve ever met in my life,” she said. “She walks out and goes, ‘You’re booting my car!’ and I say, ‘Yes, ma’am. You forged a permit.’ She goes, ‘Yep. It was worth a shot.’”

That cavalier attitude is apparent on appeals, as well.

“My favorites are the people who come in who are well-versed in state law,” she said. “They’ll write these beautiful appeals citing state law. And we’re not the state, you know? We’re a private entity.”

“It’s obvious they spent so much time on them. I almost feel bad, ‘cause if they’re earning minimum wage, they could have probably made enough money to pay the ticket with the time put into their appeals.”

Exactly who is on the appeals committee is secret, even to Howard, but she gets to read each form before it heads off to the unknown. She says this is when changes and compromises are made, if she made an error.

“If I make an honest mistake, I’ll write something on the appeals,” she said.

Occasionally, honest students prevail long before the appeals process can begin.

"If I’m writing a ticket and somebody walks up to me and they can give me a really good reason, like, ‘Oh my God, I’m here to pick up my friend who needs to go to the hospital,’ I’m understanding,” Howard said. “That kind of stuff happens.”

In fact, Howard and the rest of the Hamline Department of Safety and Security share a mantra with Tom Cruise’s character in the 1996 football-flick Jerry McGuire.

“We have a saying around here and it’s, ‘Help us help you.’ I try not to be coldhearted. I understand extenuating circumstances,” she said.

Even if students have broken the rules, Howard said they are usually accepting.

“Most people are really cool about getting a ticket,” she said. “A lot of people are like, ‘I took my chance.’”

Senior Tim McDonald was recently ticketed for not having a permit, but said he understands the rules.

“I’ve had a permit for the past two years, and so it slipped my mind,” he said. “Normally I park in the street. I wish I could have gotten a warning, but I suppose it is my own fault.”

Though Howard says she enjoys the students’ excuses, the department’s job is to make sure everyone abides by the rules. In spite of that, with tickets averaging about $25 a piece and students’ wallets running thin, she offered a bit of tongue-in-cheek advice to those not looking to cite law or make up crazy stories about dying friends:

“Be faster than me.”