Oracle Online

Dear Sick,

Female orgasms are a touchy subject. If a woman is not comfortable with every aspect of the circumstances under which intercourse is taking place, it is likely she will not come. She’s more likely to come if she feels a close connection to you, so make sure that you take time to really get to know her.

Most women need at least 20 minutes of foreplay prior to penetration before they are able to come. Keep in mind that only about 15 perccent of women can orgasm from penetration alone, so don’t focus all your attention on internal stimulation. If you feel you’ve spent enough time with foreplay and are ready to dive in, be sure there is enough lubrication to prevent friction that could be painful to your partner. Condoms are usually pre-lubricated to ensure this.

Women only feel sexual pleasure the first two inches or so inside of her and on her g-spot. The infamous g-spot is not a myth, nor is it hard to find. The g-spot is an area close to the cervical wall and is easily stimulated by slight thrusting movements. Start gentlyčthe female genitalia is sensitivečand gradually increase force until you feel you are giving your partner pleasure. Women can orgasm without g-spot stimulation, but g-spot orgasms are usually more intense and pleasurable.

If stimulation ceases while approaching orgasm, a woman’s chances of having one will plummet back to square one. Men have a hard time realizing this because this doesn’t happen to them.

During a female orgasm, a woman’s uterus and pelvic muscles undergo a series of muscular contractions that are very pleasurable. A woman can unintentionally reveal that she is having an orgasm by the way her muscles contract. If you are still unsure, ask. It may be uncomfortable, but you and your partner could become closer.

Your girlfriend may want to try new positions or experiences, but won’t tell you directly. Pay attention to her body language and suggestions. Make suggestions of your own. If she doesn’t go for them, ask if she would like to try anything. It will at least get you two talking about sex and hopefully about ways to improve.

If you still feel she’s lying, there are ways to tell if she has had an orgasm. First, her skin will become pink from increased blood flow, especially in the neck, face, and ears. Second, after a clitoral orgasm, the clitoris decreases back to its normal size and is very sensitive. It may take a few minutes before it can be stimulated again without being painful. Her body may quiver or shake, or she may get goosebumps up and down her body.

The key is communication. If there isn’t any, how can either of you know what the other enjoys? My suggestion is to spend more quality time with your partner and make sex a special occasion. Sex will not seem so ordinary and the longing for it will increase, making it all the more incredible.

Disclaimer: Stevie Hottman has aspirations of being a sex expert, but has no professional training. Send questions to oracle@hamline.edu or DS 106.