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September 26, 2006
Beyond the Bedroom with Stevie Hottman
Dear Stevie,
My friends and I have been casually joking around about how none of us get any “action,” so to speak, and how we’re basically sick of it. I know that it’s mostly just all in fun and we use the subject for a good laugh, but I can tell that some people are really aching for some physical contact. I mean, it would be nice, but it’s not imminent. The thing is, in my circle of friends, one girl has proposed to me the idea of a “bed buddy.” I’m just curious, what on earth is a bed buddy and is it a good idea? I guess I have a lot to learn in college.
Sexless in Sorin
Dear Sexless,
Many people use the idea of the “bed buddy” as a way to receive physical pleasure without the commitment of a relationship. It allows young people, like you and this nameless girl, to have that one specific person to call on nights when they feel the urge for some meaningless bump 'n grind. Many college kids have adopted the suggestion, and those who voice their opinions about it claim they love it.
The idea of the bed buddy seems rather simple; get horny, call, get sex, end of story. However, the story is always more complicated. One member of the party usually ends up feeling used while the other feels an undeserved boost of power that could result in more serious actions in the future, such as rape.
Another thing to remember is that in most cases, one member of the affair may have unexpressed feelings for the other person. When these feelings remain confined, it leads to lowered self-esteem and possibly long-term psychological problems. These supressed feelings can only be expressed sexually, which is not good for one’s sexual or mental health.
A suggestion would be to really ponder your friendship with said girl. Is it worth throwing away for a few nights of purely physical bliss, or would you rather keep the friendship in exchange for some extra “alone time”?
Also, take a good look at this girl. Is she the type of girl that would hurt your feelings if it meant some sex for her? How many guys has she done this with? What if she told her friends? Would you mind?
While this is purely your decision, keep in mind that “bed buddies” are almost never just friends in the end, and that people get hurt. But that may just be another thing you have to learn in college.
Disclaimer: Stevie Hottman has aspirations of being a sex expert, but has no professional training. Some situations are fabricated for educational and entertainment purposes.
Posted by dwright at September 26, 2006 12:14 AM
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