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At least I hope we all know that. The statistics indicate otherwise. Rape happens far more than anyone should feel comfortable with. One in four college women report surviving rape or attempted rape. Think about how many college women you know, and think about taking one quarter of them. It is a lot of women. The chances that one of them has been a victim is very high, and if you are like me, you are completely oblivious to the hardship they have likely suffered. Not because you are ignorant, not because you are a bad person, but maybe just because the subject is too painful, too much of a social taboo to be discussed openly.

Most men will say the same; that they would never dream of raping anyone. But the numbers say otherwise. 84 percent of men who have admitted to actions consistent with the legal definition of rape do not believe their actions were illegal. In other words, 84 percent of rapists do not even know they are rapists.

“This is the incredibly terrifying and sad reality of our society; we are raising men that rape and don’t even know it,” said Emily Erickson, of the Women’s Resource Center, who helped organize the event.

This is part of rape culture that Edwards wants to see changed. He is a Hamline alum currently working toward a Ph.D. at the University of Maryland. His work is part of a growing movement to redefine attitudes toward sexual violence by convincing males to take a leading role in destroying the foundations that promote sexual violence toward women. By combining a powerful message with engaging and entertaining delivery, Edwards tries to do his part in promoting this message.

Unfortunately, the misconceptions and cultural standards relating to violence and sex roles are so widespread and deeply rooted that Edwards alone cannot turn society around. “Even most men here are not speaking out,” he said. “Women are planning their days based on the fear of rape.”

The signs of this are everywhere. Women often plan their dress based on perceived reactions of those they will see that day. They may not wear a skirt one day because of fear of being hassled as they walk to work or class. They may choose to cross a street to avoid walking past a man coming in the other direction, or fake a cell phone call for comfort. They are taught to clutch their keys as they walk past someone to use as defense or to carry pepper spray.

Sexual violence is portrayed by society as an inevitability that women must be prepared to deal with. Women are taught to prevent rape or how to deal with it once it happens. There is far less effort put into changing men’s attitudes to eliminate rape before it can happen.

Societal stereotypes make matters worse. Women take actions to prevent strangers from getting too close. They fear a sort of serial rapist, a boogeyman character that usually fits into a racist assumption of the average criminal.

“They need to be more afraid of me when I offer to walk them home from the library,” Edwards says of women on his campus. 84 percent of victims knew their attackers. Rapists generally are not random strangers, but acquaintances. They are friends at parties, classmates walking across campus, or boyfriends that do not understand limits.

“All men are capable of being unknown, unintentional perpetrators,” Edwards said. But is this just fearmongering? Are we setting women up to be perpetually afraid of their surroundings? According to Edwards, fear is necessary as long as the problem persists. We need to make fear unnecessary. We are taught by society that fear is bad, that it is a sign of weakness. Fear keeps people alive, and helps keep them safe and alert. If you fear rape, you are keeping it on your mind. You can use fear to keep yourself safe. Hiding fear not only shows a fear of others’ impressions of you, but also sets you up to become a victim of what you are hiding from.

Eliminating fear is not the goal of education. Eliminating the problem makes fear unnecessary. Fear, says Edwards, makes not only women victims, but men as well. All of my daily interactions with women who live under this constant fear are dictated by their perception of me. Our connections are limited by the fear of my possible actions, not because of things they have noticed in my speech or behavior, but due to the actions of other men that have altered the way that women interact on a daily basis. My relationships with my closest friends are limited by the culture of fear that is necessary to protect them. I don’t want to be feared, but it may be necessary to protect my friends, my family, and all of the other potential victims out there. I cannot make women understand that I personally am not a threat to them, because the potential rapist does not see himself as a threat either. How can they know if I am different than other men?
Awareness is the best first step in changing these perceptions. Erickson realized this in researching sexual assaults with the WRC.

“In past years we’ve moved from just reacting to sexual assault to the prevention of sexual assault,” she said. “But we’ve only looked at prevention from a women’s perspective. We wanted to again focus on the prevention of sexual assault, but with a focus on men’s role in preventing sexual violence.”

After doing some research, Erickson came across the program designed by Edwards and consulted with Dean of Students Alan Sickbert, who had already talked with Edwards. The two felt that the presentation would be a good fit for Hamline in April, which is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

“Athletes and fraternity and sorority members are often required to go to my presentations,” said Edwards. In fact, many of his presentations are put on solely for schools’ athletic programs, which are often singled out for education in rape awareness. Hamline athletes were strongly encouraged to attend the presentation. The event pushed room 118 in Drew Science near capacity with over 100 people. Even with large turnout from male athletes, the presentation was still split evenly between men and women. With the goal of “She Fears Me” being to increase men’s awareness of their role in combating sexual violence, a higher turnout from the rest of Hamline’s male population might have been more beneficial to the movement as a whole.

“Perception is reality,” Edwards said of the views many have toward athletes and fraternities. He discussed possible reasons for this, most of which related to general expectations of men in society to live up to standards of domination and to suppress their emotions. “We are very literally killing ourselves with this version of inflated masculinity.”

He points to aspects of society that lead to the existence of a rape culture including the objectification of women, subordination of their intelligence, the definition of masculinity as sexual conquest, and intersecting forms of oppression such as racism and homophobia. The drive to exert masculinity based on these definitions leads men to regard women as targets of sexual aggression, as things to be acted upon and not rational beings.

These are not baseless claims. Edwards presented numerous examples of how these images are projected on youth, from advertising to music to the wording chosen to represent events involving victims of sexual violence.

Not all is hopeless, though. Men and women across the country are starting to raise awareness, with groups popping up to fight the stereotyping, marginalizing, and unrealistic expectations placed on our youth. At Hamline Men Against Sexual Assault and Gender Oppression (MASAGO) has formed a group dedicated to ending violence by changing men’s attitudes, though membership has been slow in coming.

Recent hate incidents and reactions to sexual assaults on campus show that Hamline has work to do. While some have shown initiative through groups like MASAGO, the general trend is to not take action.

As long as rape still occurs, as long as the women around us still live in a constant fear of violence, men should not let this issue go away. We need to look at how we handle things as a society and change the way we raise our young men and women. I don’t want to be seen as a potential attacker, and I don’t want women to have to feel like potential victims. A solution cannot be found without men stepping forward and changing attitudes to eliminate the culture that allows sexual violence to happen.

“The end of rape may be unrealistic,” said Edwards, “but how much am I willing to settle with?”