Oracle Online

You know how we all make fun of those American University ads, with the annoying jingle, full of people who can’t get into real colleges because of poor life choices? Or, Buddha forbid, we rip into a school that will take anyone at literally any part of the year. Has anyone else noticed that we’re really not helping separate the whey from the chaff? Going around vandalizing other schools sounds like TP-ing the choir teacher’s house in high school. The choir teacher, mind you, the nice Christian one who wasn’t going to have your “personages” hauled into juvie like the gym teachers would’ve. Think back to that choir teacher. After you gave him such a righteous paper-job, did he really fold under your dominance?

One’s goal in writing things like ‘MAC SUX’ outside their cafeteria won’t strike fear into the hearts of the many. However, I doubt it’s to make them think we’re trashier than we already are, which is ironically exactly what it’s doing.

Instead of acting like glue-huffing-cow-tippers, we should improve our image by working harder. I hear you whining, “But studying for higher grades and performing better in athletics is hard.” And hey, I understand. Effort is demanding and complaining is fun whilst rewarding. However, other schools don’t call this place “Hamline High” because we don’t tag enough local abandoned buildings or pee on trees to declare them as our own. Once that gets old perhaps we will go back to our old Little Rascal-style tricks and leave flaming bags of ‘terra firma’ on some dorm front doors.

But maybe I’m completely missing the boat and you don’t care what other people think of you or your school. Perhaps I am misjudging your unflappable levelheadedness for immature posturing. Perhaps you’ve gone so far beyond not caring you’ve actually gone back to caring. That could be how hardcore you are. But somehow I doubt that.