Oracle Online

Decisiveness and awareness are good qualities. However, most opinion articles aren’t based on provable fact. Writers of these pieces merely take something they have seen or heard, and go off about what is wrong with it. Do you really think that people enjoy having a front-row seat to your rant? Does anyone ever actually turn to the opinion section, just dying to find out what you thought of this week’s blockbuster? The latest political movement? That article you read last Tuesday? Personally, I do not, and I don’t think that scores of others do. Unfortunately, keeping your opinion to yourself is something far too many people seem to have a hard time doing these days.

We are all college-age adults here. We should know better than to tote our beliefs around like handbags, acting as if our peers are actually paying attention to our brand new outrage.

What I’m trying to say, in essence, is no one ever really cares what you think. They may say they do; they may even create entire newspaper sections dedicated to making you think they do. But at the end of the day, people are only reading your blog, your letter to the editor, or your opinion column for one of two reasons: they are doing it for courtesy, or they are reading it so they can turn around and state their own opinion about your opinion. If everyone was doing this, we would have judgments being hurled all across the board without pertinent information exchanged. Sometimes it is just better to keep your mouth shutčsomething I hardly think is too much to ask for.

My advice to you? Tone down the opinion section. This may be a land of free speech and press, but it is also a land where people are often too eager to pitch in their two cents.

-Susie Homemaker ’06

I wanna talk about me

I really don’t have any opinions. I just want to see my name in print. So instead, I’m going to tell you about me. I love mashed potatoes and deviled eggs. I wish I could go back to kindergarden because there were snacks, milk, nap time and we were graded on cutting and coloring. I like milk with ice. Anyone who hates the Olympics is not my friend. Berry Berry Kix is the best cereal. Bill Clinton is my hero. I love to cook. My one goal in life is to squeeze out an entire tube of toothpaste at one time. Mr. Rogers taught me how to make crayons. I wish I was an American Idol. Chris Farley was a genius. French toast should be made with french bread. I knew Nick and Jessica wouldn’t last. Digital watches are better. Roseanne is the greatest TV show ever. Chocolate is my favorite kind of ice cream. I don’t understand why girls can’t check in hockey. I don’t like crispy bacon. The national dog should be the golden retriever. Checkerboard has the best pizza. I wish I could fly. Mrs. Buttersworth knows her stuff. Dishwashers are a great invention. There should be three-day weekends. Jem should make a comeback. McDonald’s is better than Burger King. Paper should never beat Rock. Velcro should replace shoelaces. Rollerblading is dangerous. ACTC means nothing to me. Pink is not for sissies. I hate peas. Girls smell better than boys. Full House solved many of my childhood problems. Taco Bell is true Mexican food. Everyone should say please and thank you. Mayonnaise is essential with chicken nuggets. Daunte Culpepper should retire. Macintosh is a fruit, not a computer. I watched Saved by the Bell like it was my job. Every meal should include dessert. Super America hot dogs should be in their own food group. Brad should have stayed with Jennifer. I love air conditioning. Sunflower seeds are too much work. Cheap toilet paper isn’t worth it. Sleeping Beauty was my favorite childhood movie. I don’t understand lacrosse. Thanksgiving is the best holiday. Facebook is a national pastime. I appreciate random thoughts.

-Karina Kronenbourg ’07

The way I dress is sexy

If there’s one thing I’m sick of, it’s people not putting a lot of time, money and effort into their outfit selection in the morning. I was voted “Best Dressed” all four years in high school, so not only do I know what’s important in life, I know how to present myself in a way that is not only helpful to my reputation as an intelligent, independent thinker.

For instance, just last week I went outside and there, for everyone to see, was this dirty, grimy freshman, wearing a shirt from K-mart! Eww! He was probably poor or something.

I mean, is it so hard for people to realize when they look all ugly? What we need more of is exposed midriffs and people wearing tight pants. And boys, please stop wearing baseball caps and start gelling your hair! We know what you’re hiding under there.

Also, no more freestyle hoodies. Stop wearing your glasses. You won’t be able to see, but it’s a sacrifice you’ll have to make to not be ugly. To the kids who keep wearing raver pants, where have you been? Individuality and comfort went out years ago. Feel free to thank me.

-Cindi McPretty ’09