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March 28, 2006
University website updated to reflect student population
The rhetOracle is a mock issue of Hamline's undergraduate newspaper, the Oracle. We are trying to be as derisive as possible. Please enjoy the farcical nature of this issue or at least, ignore us.
Previously, Hamline’s website portrayed images of students smiling, conversing with colleagues or focusing on academics and athletics.
Starting next week, additional photos will be added to better represent the student population and activities. The new images will show students smoking cigarettes outside of the GLC and attending drunken house parties, in addition to working hard on their studies. The change will take place on April 1.
“It only makes sense to accurately portray student life,” university webmaster Matt Drudge said.
The change came after the university learned the results of a drug and alcohol survey that was conducted last spring by the University of Wisconsin - Madison. UW-Madison, normally known for drunken Halloween parties, has turned to examining college students’ problems surrounding alcohol use.
The survey asked about alcohol consumption, tobacco use and marijuana use over 30-day and 12-month time frames. In addition, students were asked if they had participated in binge drinking, defined as having a case of beer in one sitting, in the past two weeks.
Students resoundingly reported that they spent their weekdays studying, while their weekends are spent pumping a keg.
“Each weekend, we go through a small truckload of Grain Belt,” self-proclaimed alcoholic Jordan Mitsy said. “We go to classes four days a week, and wake up in a drunken stupor on the other three. Our grades are excellent, there’s just nothing to do on weekends. So we booze it up.” He said the total bill runs to about $200. He said his roommates just consider it a part of the cost for living at their house.
Other students echoed Mitsy’s habits.
“We’re so bored on weekends that we just head down to Big Top and pick up whatever is cheap,” Jimmy James said.
Sources close to the administration said they hope that by “being real” with current and prospective students about what goes on at Hamline on weekends, they will receive more applications.
Posted by dwright at March 28, 2006 01:12 PM
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