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February 28, 2006
Under the Covers
Dear Under the Covers,
My partner and I just started having a sexual relationship. She’s given me a few great blow jobs, and I think she’s ready for me to reciprocate. The problem is I’ve never preformed oral sex on a woman before and I’m not quite sure were to start.
First, let me commend you for wanting to learn how to better please your partner. The key to great oral sex is communication, but first you’ll need to know what you’re working with.
The female genitalia is comprised of the vagina, the labia, the clitoris and the vulva. You won’t need to take an anatomy course to give good oral sex, but you do need to know what to focus your attention on. The vagina is the canal from the external organs to the uterus. The vulva refers to the external genital area. The labia are the lips that surround the vulva. The clitoris is the small bump above the opening to the vagina. Anatomically, the clitoris is equivalent to the head of the penis, but it has about twice as many nerve endings. This is where you’ll want to focus much of your attention.
Before you begin, you should be aware that many women are self-concious when it gets below the belt. Reassuring her that everything about her is beautiful and that she turns you on will help ease her tension and allow her to fully enjoy oral sex.
Begin with talking to your partner; ask her what feels good and what she likes. Listen to her breathing and pay attention to how her body reacts to your touch.
You can begin by kissing, stroking, and caressing her body. As you move your way downward, you can start to explore her genitalia with your hands. Very gently, touch the clitoris. You might feel her becoming more lubricated. Spread the labia and stroke around the vaginal opening, always making sure she is pleased by this.
When you begin using your mouth, be very gentle. Softly kissing or sucking on the clitoris can be pleasurable. Some women also find gentle blowing on the clitoris pleasing. The key to great oral sex is listening to her and to how her body responds.
One last word of advice: remember that an STI can be spread through oral sex, and trust me, the last thing you want is a painful infection on a very visible part of your body. The easiest way to drastically reduce the risk of STIs is to use a dental dam. Dentals dams are simply pieces of latex, about nine inches by six inches in size, that are placed over the vagina.
Most women can achieve orgasm through cunnilingus, but don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen the first time. Just keep communication open between the two of you and you’ll find what is most pleasurable and satisfying for you both. If you’re still feeling lost, you can check out the fabulous book She Comes First by Ian Kerner.
Disclaimer: Sex Columnists have aspirations of being sexperts but no professional training. Some situations are fabricated for entertainment and educational purposes.
Starting next week, we’ll have a regular sexpert taking over Under the Covers. Who will it be?
Posted by dwright at February 28, 2006 12:40 PM
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