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February 14, 2006
Under the covers
with audition #2
Dear Under the Covers,
I’ve been with my man for over two years. When things get heated, he tells me to touch myself. I don’t feel comfortable doing so. How can I pleasure myself in front of him without feeling weird?
Sincerely,
Afraid to Touch
My dear Afraid to Touch,
Keep in mind that you are not alone. Many women feel this way, and the first thing to realize is that it’s perfectly natural to explore your body, even in front of your lover.
The first question to ask yourself is whether you’re nervous to touch yourself, or just uncomfortable with him in the room. If it’s the former, you’ll need to start off slowly. Take a few extra minutes in the shower and just try some things out. I recommend using a poof for that added texture some women enjoy.
Start with the external features of your body. Each woman has a different “hot-spot” that gets her going. For some, it’s their breasts. About 1 percent of women can achieve orgasm by just having their breasts pleasured.
When you get comfortable with this step, move to your nether-regions. Start with just stroking the outer portions and slowly go deeper. With a little practice, you’ll feel very comfortable with pleasuring yourself.
Now, if you’re nervous about you’re guy watching you, there’s a whole different set of issues. Since he has already asked you to pleasure yourself in front of him, you know he loves your body, and won’t judge you. He wants to be shown what you do when he’s not there. Or, he wants to know if there’s anything he can do to make it feel more pleasing for you.
Believe it or not, many guys want to be directed on what to do to make the act more enjoyable for you. Most guys’ objective is to make you scream, and that’s one way they can learn how.
Another reason some guys want you to touch yourself is because they want you to experience more sensations than just what they can do at one time. If he is concentrating on one area of your body, he doesn’t want the other parts of your beautiful body to be neglected.
If you are just uneasy about expressing yourself in a physical way in front of your lover, start out with simple touching. Touch your face, lips, or even your navel. Wherever your hands go, his eyes will follow.
If you are entirely against touching yourself, you need to tell him. Guys just don’t know if you don’t tell them.
Just keep this in mind, the more you touch your body the more comfortable you’ll be with your man watching you.
Disclaimer: Sex Columnists have aspirations of being sexperts but no professional training.
Posted by dwright at February 14, 2006 12:27 PM
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