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February 07, 2006
Be prepared for mating season. People are just as ugly in spring.
Ahh, spring. When a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. Something we are all familiar with. It seems that at the beginning of spring we all go through some kind of Jungian, subconscious mating season where our standards are lowered and we’ll date anything that will distract us from our existential loneliness, if even only for a moment.
And I do not want to create the impression I don’t know the struggle. I’m no stranger to the fightčthe latest Regina Spektor album on the stereo; you’re browsing the web and all those damn pop-ups with pretty people looking unnaturally happy with each other’s company. It makes one want.
But I am here to tell us to keep fighting. We all know that 90 percent of the people out there are dateable. (Normally these people get together due to desperation or alcohol, or one brought on by the other.) Just because that Korean grocer smiled at you doesn’t mean she wants to “get all up in that,” and really, neither do you.
There is a deeper issue here, and since I am so flippin’ wise and rife with perspective, I will illustrate it. Don’t date people just to date. It leads to you being depressed, your friends having to explain things to the dude after you decide to inexplicably stop calling him, and what MTV refers to as “drama”.
I am not telling you to stop dating. (I figured I would make that clear as you all seem to do whatever I tell you.) But rather, keep the standards that made you so well-known for shooting down sleazy cat-calls involving the size of your posterior. Spring is a lonely time, yes, but perhaps it is better than hooking up with someone your friends have a diminutive nickname for. They will give you crap.
Posted by dwright at February 7, 2006 11:52 PM
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