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December 13, 2005
Happy Kwanzaa, Diwali, and Ramadan, Mr. Bill O’Reilly!
Did you know there are people even here on campus that don’t celebrate Christmas? No, seriously, some of these people are called “Jews.”
Now is the time that we should all be open and accepting of the only other religious celebration that happens in December (Hanukkah!).
Oh no, my friends.
For instance, in Brazil they have a celebration at midnight where the goddess of the seas is paid tribute. They dance on the beach and offer gifts to the ocean.
Hamline is, by seemingly everyone’s account, amazingly diverse. Just last Tuesday we celebrated the pagan ritual of decorating a giant tree!
But then there are the weirdos-like me. We belong to religions without a December celebration. There are even-shock of shocks-those who aren’t part of any specific religion. Or even stranger, those who are members of an organized religion, but for whatever reason, don’t celebrate anything but may do other crazy things, like heavily drinking unhealthy seasonal beverages. Or they adorn their persons with unflattering, garish apparel. (Who are these people, and where do they get their weird ideas? Not from the
Bible, that’s for sure.) These people deserve a pat on the head. Afterward, they will be so pleased with the attention that they will happily go on their merry little ways. But be careful not to touch them for too long - you might catch it!
The one group we don’t need to worry about are those unwashed heathens, the agnostics and atheists. Since they don’t have any specific celebration, we don’t need to respect them. But don’t let them flaunt their godless beliefs in front of you. Think of them like you think of homosexuals: It’s okay to parade your sexuality in front of them, but not visa-verca.
So remember who should be in charge here. If you need a hint, keep in mind that Christmas is the only religious holiday that is also a federal holiday. Lucky!
Posted by msveum at December 13, 2005 12:50 PM
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