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I enjoyed a few brief conversations with Tania, and found myself sitting
next to her in the small group when she became ill and reached out for
help. We were quite disturbed at the end of the day to learn that Tania
was in critical condition. The following morning, some of us decided to
gather on our break, to be together in this time of crisis for our
colleague, to acknowledge our sadness and concern and to honor Tania and
what she had meant to us, offering also our heartfelt thoughts, wishes,
prayers, blessings for her recovery. Twelve people gathered in a circle,
an international group and nearly a third of all symposium attendees.
The following are some of the comments shared:

• “I had lunch with Tania yesterday. She talked at great length and with
much energy about her children, how special they were to her, how much
she cared about them and their future.”
• “I was touched by Tania’s presence and strength, and I am reminded
that every moment is precious - I want to live fully in every moment.”
• “Since Tania became ill, she has been with me every moment, in my
thoughts, in my heart.”
• “Tania is remarkable - she consistently thinks outside the box, and is
comfortable with complexity, contradiction, and paradox.”
• “I have learned from Tania. I was scheduled to have dinner at her home
this evening. As an Arab man, I want to open myself more to other people
who are different than I am, and work harder at engaging in dialogue.”
• “Tania stands out as a vibrant, strong woman, open and engaging.”
• “I was so moved that she would invite me, a Palestinian woman, home to
dinner to meet her parents - what generosity of spirit.” (see letter below)
• “I ask God to take 2 years off my life and give them to Tania.”
(shared by a Hindu woman)

We offered blessings and prayers from our own spiritual traditions and
Tania’s, Jewish, Christian, Hindu, Islamic. We were all amazed how Tania
had affected us, and how she had wasted no time in building bridges with
those different from her.

The following day, Alma Jadallah, a Palestinian woman from Fairfax, VA,
wrote a letter to Tania, excerpted as follows :

To Tania,
Our encounter was brief, but I had hoped it was longer. Your sudden
illness and departure feels like a bad dream, one that I am unable to
wake up from. I am in disbelief and I will continue to remember our last
conversation: “Can you come to dinner, Amr is coming and I would love
for you to meet my parents?” I answered apologetically that I had a
previous engagement with a cousin who lives in town. “Can I confirm with
you tomorrow,” I said. Now I realize that I took you for granted, not
knowing that there was to be no tomorrow.

As we walked to the cafeteria, you told me that you taught at Ben-Gurion
University in Israel, & your Jewish identity became apparent - you asked
me about my family links to Palestine. I said that my parents are from
Nablus from the Abdul Hadi family. Your response startled me as you
recognized the name and its status in Palestinian society. You said you
were an anthropologist, and had read about them. You expressed your
excitement about meeting a member of that family. My sense of pride was
high and I remember how impactful it was for me to get that personal and
historical recognition from you – a Jew with ties to Israel and the
symbolism of it all. After all, we were attending a symposium on the
globalization of ADR. Scholars from all over the world were discussing
and sharing the impact of culture on alternative dispute resolution.
Perhaps not totally apparent to us was the relevance of our personal
conversations to the conference theme....

In a brief exercise on what a center for global ADR would look like,
some of us shared our desire to have a center that builds relationships
and gives people equal access. One can argue that an essential
requirement for all institutions to succeed is their ability to build
trust. You were planting the seeds of trust in your gesture to me. Your
generous gesture to eat dinner at your home and your desire of us
meeting your parents who grew up in the Arab world might have been one
of those first steps to take in the region.

Tania, I have so many questions for you and those who knew you. But one
thing is for sure, I will always remember you, and the lost opportunity
to link with you as a mother, a daughter, a sister, a practitioner and
more importantly, a reconciliator.

In peace, Alma

One thing is certain - we were blessed to be in the presence of Tania
Forte, for however brief a time, to experience a gifted woman of such
courage and compassion, so full of life, large of spirit and heart. May
her spirit travel with us.

Jean Greenwood
Wesley Center Fellow