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November 08, 2005
Letter to the Editor: Sexual assault victims seek opportunity to commiserate
I was shocked when I read Matt Lutz’s article, “Sexual assault hits home.” Not because of the content of the article, but because rape was finally discussed on Hamline’s campus. What Janet experienced has happened in similar ways to millions of women and men. Rape victims seemingly are not alone. Yet, we tend to hide that aspect of our lives from as many people as we can, save doctors and close friends. I say we because I’ve been raped, too. Janet said in the article that she doesn’t think she needs counseling. I
felt the same way at first. But the rape itself is not the worst part. For me, it became increasingly harder to deal with the fact that I had been raped in the days, weeks, months afterward. I waited over two years to go into counseling after my first rape. I waited until the self-blame almost ruined me.
Relationships also become fragile after rape. It is not just the person in the alley that causes fear, but the friend of a friend who walks you home from a party or even the boyfriend who tells you he loves you. To the victim, who is there left to trust?
Doctors, boyfriends, friends sometimes cannot even be trusted, as they may find a way to blame the victim, as Janet experienced at the hospital after her attack. Unfortunately, since the victim turns to seclusion to deal with the effects of rape, we are even secluded from each other. We hide our status of rape victim because we want to forget it happened, because we don’t want to be blamed by other people, because we don’t want anyone to know. Our society has made itself frigid to us; it tells us to hide our past and
pretend it never happened. It’s easier for everyone else that way.
I say no. I go through enough just being me and I don’t need the added stress of helping someone else deal with my rape. Writing this, I’m scared that my name will be there for everyone to see and I’ll be treated differently. But I need to stop accepting the blame that society has tried to make me internalize. Hopefully
Janet and all the other Janets on our campus will hear what I’m saying. I have never had the chance to sit down with someone else and exchange experiences, but I hope that can soon change. We need each other.
-Jenna Hanson ‘06
Posted by msveum at November 8, 2005 12:09 PM