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Soon enough it’s time to go and we head out, a little tipsy and ready for a good time. Unfortunately, our destination is just across campus in the dilapidating student center. This is the second year in a row the
Homecoming has been in the Student Center. The dance itself is taking place in the ball room upstairs, which resembles an underfunded elementary school cafeteria more than any place you’d hold a ball. But it has a balcony so when guys show up to not dance they can at least smoke. So far, there are no signs of the spirit of Homecoming. We dance to a couple of last year’s most popular R&B singles, but somehow getting elbowed in the back by drunken first-years gets old fast.

At a party a few weekends back my editor and I were talking about Homecoming. I remembered a few years ago the royalty was drunk on stage playing games and it seemed like a lot of fun. So we thought it would be hilarious to have a full out campaign for Homecoming, even funnier if we lost. It became clear that we would need to document it in the name of journalism.

We got ourselves nominated, actually put up a dozen posters and pre-partied before coronation, which was just having to suffer through a lame magician of below birthday party quality tell bigoted jokes.

So here I am, out on the back porch talking to some drunk kids and I decide to try and find out what they think the spirit of Homecoming is.

I ask the first person I see who looks semi-approachable what the spirit of Homecoming is. I’m a little more surprised than I should have been that their reply belligerently shouted out, “Drinking!” It doesn’t seem that simple to me. I sort of remember years ago hearing something about meaning the football team is returning home. It seems best to ask a few more people. A group of girls all simultaneously give cries of “Drinking!” “Booze!” And “Getting wasted!” They all laugh and cheer.

The next several people all give similar replies, and I’m starting to get hopeless. There has got to be something more to it than that. I ask a German student for a fresh perspective; he explains how this is his first Homecoming. When I ask him what he thinks it’s all about, the answer remains the same. It’s not that I was giving up, but I just had one theory, so I thought we’d put it to the test.

After asking a few people about an after party, I find out about a party at my friend Freddie’s place. It seems to be the only place anybody knows about, so there’s a good chance it’ll be big.

After swinging by my place to grab something to drink we head over to the party, which is conveniently just two blocks away. The party is going pretty well, and there’s a keg or two. I grab a cup and get it filled before I head to the porch. I don’t know if I found the spirit of Homecoming, but it was the best part of the night.

-Andrew Cole’s column appears on a biweekly basis