« Why won’t you add me as a friend?: Point vs Counterpoint | Main | God breaks two-thousand-year silence to condemn the state of Texas »
March 29, 2005
Mario to star in Jacko biopic
Amid the latest Michael Jackson trial there is talk from Nintendo Enterprises of making a full-length live action account of Jackson’s life, using Nintendo Universe characters.
Mario, made famous by an entire collection of video games based on his own adventures, is set to star as Jackson.
“People wonder how I’m gonna pull off,” Mario said from his fortified plumber’s compound somewhere in the desert just outside of Las Vegas. “Granted, I’m a two-foot-tall walking Japanese Italian-American stereotype, and Jackson, well I’m not sure, but we look nothing alike. That doesn’t mean my powerful acting abilities won’t shine through, however.”
Both Mario and Jackson have graced the big screen before. Actor Bob Hoskins portrayed Mario in the movie Super Mario Bros., which was critically panned. Jackson has never been represented directly on the silver screen outside of one of the Another Teen Movie installments, but he did star last year in his own disturbing documentary.
“Well, I know how it is to be portrayed incorrectly on the big screen, with the Mario Bros. movie and all,” Mario said. “I really wanted [Johnny] Depp to play me, but there was a scheduling mistake and the whole thing went to hell But yeah I’m going to do my best to portray Jackson as he is in real life.”
For his role, Mario lived with Jackson for several months. One source close to Jackson said it was scary when Mario would imitate every action he would do, because he would look so much like Jackson it was as if Jackson had an evil twin.
“Yeah, it was quite the experience living with Jackson,” Mario said. “For the most part, it just took him some time to get used to me copying his every move. He was cool, though. We had some strange moments when my power would wear out and I would shrink to my six-inch size. I don’t carry power mushrooms with me, because, well, police don’t believe me when I tell them that it’s part of my condition and I need them to get ‘big.’ I’ve ended up in jail on mistaken drug charges more than once.”
Mario declined to comment further on what those “moments” were like when he shrunk to the size of a tiny child.
The two pop-culture icons are planning a party at Neverland Ranch to celebrate Jackson’s predicted acquittal, and await official announcement of the production studio’s choice to green-light the momentous project.
“I know Jackson really well now, and I know he’ll be acquitted, because he’s got all the money in the world to hire good people,” Mario said. “He’s even given me the numbers of some prominent drug defenders, and I might need ’em!”
Jackson, currently on trial, was unable to be reached for comment.
Posted by msveum at March 29, 2005 01:33 PM
Comments
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)