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March 29, 2005

Why won’t you add me as a friend?: Point vs Counterpoint

CLA Super-Senior

This is a letter of indignation. There is a girl on Hamline Facebook who refuses to add me as her friend
even though I know we could be great together, and this letter is meant for her.

Remember me? I’m coldplayfan32@hotmail.com, and I have requested your friendship 49 times, and you have coldly denied me each time. Why won’t you add me as a friend? It takes so little effort. All you have to do is move your mouse a little and click “confirm as friend.” It will take five seconds, tops, and doesn’t it take a lot more time to deny my request every day?

Just give me a chance, that’s all that I’m asking. Look at our profiles. We match up in so many ways.
We’re both “liberal.” We both are obsessed with The Big Lebowski. We both love Death Cab for Cutie and loathe country music.

For our interests, we both put down reading and hanging out with friends. You don’t easily find someone who has that much in common with you. do you?

I know that we would be good for each other. I love your sense of humor. I can tell that you’re a kooky girl from that crazy picture of you licking a worm that you posted. But you have a serious, sincere side. Your favorite quote, “Life is life, we live and we die. Somewhere in between we might as well be happy,” really gave me a lot to think about. We won’t be around forever, and we need to grab any chance we have in this life to be happy. I don’t think you’re living up to your motto. Sure, I’m a strange person you’ve never met before who seems to have a stalker-like obsession with you based on your profile on a free web site, but happy relationships have come out of stranger circumstances. Just look at Anna Nicole Smith and that old millionaire she was boffing. They seemed to come from worlds apart, but they had a few short years of true love. That could be us!

You may be wondering why I persist in requesting your friendship after so many rejections. It’s because when I look at your picture, I know you are the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. Every day after school, before I go to bed, and if I have time in the morning, I turn off the lights, lock my door, stare at your picture and try to create the physical feeling of love that I know we would share together if we could only meet. But we’ll never meet if you don’t add me to your friend list.

You said that you were interested in meeting people for “whatever.” Why can’t “whatever” include true love and happiness? With your looks and charm, and my extensive knowledge of Babylon 5, my Geo, and my laser-like concentration abilities, I know we’ll be the toast of the town.

But first you have to be true to yourself and realize what you’re denying yourself.

If true love can’t blossom on the Internet, where can it? I’m going to sign on right now, and give you one last chance to add me as a friend. Do it, for both of us.

Posted by msveum at March 29, 2005 01:32 PM

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