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March 29, 2005
Why won’t you add me as a friend?: Point vs Counterpoint
That online people-meeting thing, the one called Hamline Facebook, is like totally my most favorite thing ever. Like I wake up in the morning, and I totally run over to my computer and I get all over anxious when I’m waiting to sign in. It’s like the most exciting, coolest, bestest thing ever in the world. Really truly, the best thing ever.
Totally.
It’s only been a couple weeks since I have been a member. My name is alyssa. Not capitalized, to show how cool I am. Really. And so I’m really that cool because I already have 317 friends! That really just is so cool. I’m totally awesome at hamlinefacebook.com. One of the best. I want to be that girl who has like 276,986,756 friends. And I will, real soon. I just added Jamie, who I met at this big party last weekend at the house of these dorky guys who think they’re robots or something. Jamie will be friend 318 when she confirms. I’m just waiting for her to confirm me as a friend and then we’re totally set. I rock so hard!
But what is really sucky about the Hamline Facebook is all the pervert dudes who get up all up in your profile shit. Who just keep sending friend request after friend request and I have to be all “Leave me alone, I am way uber cool in comparison with you. Loser. Go get some more friends and then I’ll think about it.
Maybe. But probably not.”
And so what I do is really mean in the facebook world!
I think it’s funny, but it totally serves them right for annoying me with their annoying requests. I mean, I know I’m super cool. Why would I need some soldier in Iraq to tell me that? Pshaw.
And so anyways, what I do when a random dude gets all into me is this: I send him a message asking why the crap he thinks he can be friends with me. Except I do it in a super smart way, that, well, would just bore you. And so then after he sends me a message back telling me how beautiful and smart and perfect I am, you know what I do? I don’t approve his friend request! And I won’t deny it either! I make him wait and wait and wait in what I like to call “Friend Limbo.” He has to wait there for months before the facebook man clears out that sort of thing. It’s so devious of me. I feel kinda bad about it, but that’s what they get for trying to get all up in my shit.
And there has been this guy who has requested my friendship literally like 47 times in a week. He just sent me a 48th request. And now a 49th. When will it end?! He just won’t let it go. I mean, for reals, man. And so
I sent the whole message thing and he is just really and truly truly obsessed with me. He thinks I am
incredible. Which I am, but not for people like him who don’t have enough friends to be worth it in any way.
Gross. And I am getting so pissed off. Like, really.
Leave me alone you crazy first-year, or whatever you are. You are really creeping me out with your poems and the photographs of your cats. Just give up, loser. Like I would even waste my time.
Posted by msveum at March 29, 2005 01:37 PM
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