Oracle Online

“We went through an entire week’s worth of rice last week, just on Hamline students alone,” said an ecstatic Akilli. “I want your heart, but having your wallet is nice, too.”

Despite the increased sales, Akilli said he has no plans of expanding the small shop.

The Black Sea, owned by Akilli, is the first Turkish restaurant in Minnesota. It lies one block south of campus on Snelling Avenue.

Partygoers slay journalist

An Oracle journalist was killed by party attendees after the alleged drunkards were angered by the reporter’s tape recorder and camera.

Sean Bailey, the Oracle’s resident gonzo journalist and Hunter S. Thompson worshipper, was found dead at 1854 Hamline Ave. around 8 a.m., a St. Paul Police spokesman said.

Senior Dan Reuter, who was present at the party, said attendees grew frustrated when Bailey removed his tape recorder from his jacket and started taking verbal notes about activities in the house. After a half-hour, Johnson said, party goers pulled Bailey into the attached garage and pummeled him to death with empty liquor bottles.

“He was taking pictures of Betsy, our 12-hosed beer bong, and he said they’d appear in the paper. So we killed him,” Reuter said. “And by we of course I mean not me, but the others. And they made me stand there while it happened.”

An autopsy revealed Bailey had several concussions, and died of blood loss.

Bailey’s tape and camera, believed to contain his last words and images, has not been recovered.

Oracle gets staff-wide haircut

Curly afros and other liberal hairstyles were significantly shortened in Drew Science 106 after one-third of the Oracle editorial staff simultaneously cut their locks.

Unbeknownst to the others, four editors decided independently that last week was the perfect time to visit their stylist.

News editor Matt Lutz, who trimmed his afro that reached the tip of his nose to less than half an inch, made the most significant reduction.

Manney Anderson, who will take over for Brian Voerding as editor in chief next year, also shortened his curls.

Opinion editor Tessa Reck made the smallest change, adding bangs to her long, dark- brown hair.

Voerding set off the chain of cuts after he visited a professional barber for the first time in five years.
Previously, Voerding had used craft scissors and a shaver while standing in front of a mirror. His decision came after he began interviewing for internships.

In addition, sports editor Aaaron Swanum has also scheduled an appointment with his barber.

The newly styled staff said collectively that their decisions may have been made in haste, and will now let their hair grow out again, in order to continue to perpetuate the belief that every Oracle staff member is an artsy “hippie.”