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March 29, 2005
Oracle wins giant coaster: Best of Midwest award used for crackers, beer
The Oracle, traditionally staffed by single, depressed alcoholics, took their first step in cleaning up its image and Drew Science office by winning a giant coaster, Editor in Chief Brian Voerding said.
The plaque, seen above, which was given to the newspaper by the Associated Collegiate Press for “Best in Show” in the weekly tabloids at four-year colleges division, will serve to hold beer, crackers and other assorted snacks and beverages.
The lonely editors have each claimed the coaster as their partner, asserting it as proof of their personal journalistic excellence.
“The Oracle office is my home during the week. Thankfully, I have a companion now,” Voerding said.
Others were not so quick to give Voerding the entire credit.
Former paper boy and editor in chiefąelect Manney Anderson, the only Oracle staffer currently in a non-binding, imaginary romantic relationship, said, “Why does Brian get the whole award for himself? I want a piece of that action.”
Voerding, a self-proclaimed heavy drinker and lover of generic snack crackers, said he deserved the award more than anyone else because of this habits.
“Let’s face it. I drink more than anyone else here, well, maybe except for [adviser] David [Hudson],”
Voerding said, going on to describe an old story about Hudson, New Orleans, a bottle of wine, and a concerned waitress.
Although possession of the award currently remains in the hands of the newspaper, actual ownership will be determined at the an open forum to be held in room 420 of Drew Science on March 29.
Posted by msveum at March 29, 2005 12:49 PM
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