Oracle Online

Porn is a tricky subject matter, POP, and believe me you are not the first person to ever react this way to finding a dirty mag or XXX movie in your boyfriend’s possession. While rationally you may realize that these pics of big-breasted bimbos pose no real threat to your relationship with your boyfriend, it is easy to feel just that: threatened. You said it yourself, you do not look like these girls, and the idea that your boyfriend might be fantasizing about their perfect bodies instead of thinking about you can be a little unsettling. But, of course, POP, there is one key difference between you and these barely-legal hotties:
You are real, and they are just images, and I’m sure your boyfriend is fully aware of that. So don’t feel threatened, POP, because these so-called “horny sluts” aren’t going to be taking your place in your relationship anytime soon.

Chances are if you brought up the porn thing to your boyfriend and told him how bad it made you feel, he would either feel very guilty or react defensively. He may think that you are trying to take a moral high road and shame him for his behavior. But is your boyfriend really wrong for indulging his fantasies? If you haven’t already discussed this, then he isn’t lying to you by looking at it. Porn is not a threat to your relationship. Any feeling of mistrust that this porn might leave between you could be, though.

You may only feel uncomfortable about the porn because you were unaware that he looked at it, and it surprised you to find it on his computer. But if you realize that it is just part of a harmless fantasy, then you may find that you have no problem with it. Or, if the idea of your boyfriend secretly looking at pornography still weirds you out, you may want to consider trying to look at it with him. Fantasies often seem threatening to a relationship because they exist outside or independently of the relationship. But by looking at it with him, you would be participating in the fantasy and might find it less threatening. And you might be surprised at how hot he’ll get for you (not those busty blondes) during the duration of the porn watching. However, porn isn’t for everyone, so if you find looking at it upsetting, I would not try it.

So, POP, if you still feel upset about the dirty desktop discovery, I would suggest talking to your boyfriend about the situation, but make sure he knows that you are not judging him. Try to be understanding of what he has to say about it, and remember that looking at porn isn’t an inherently wrong act. See if you two can try to come to a mutual understanding so that you can continue your relationship with the knowledge that porn may be looked at by one party from time to time, but that doesn’t mean that trust is broken, or your state as a happy couple is threatened.

Disclaimer: Molly Kirwan has aspirations of being a sexpert, but has no professional training.