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November 16, 2004
E-mail: Linking the liberal youth
This week has been hard.
Look at that picture of me amid the boring text that arrays this page. That seemingly cherubic face at current is furrowed in consternation, the cavalier cowlick in my hair is matted down, and my toothy grin is tight-lipped and forced.
But I am not going to belabor you, devoted readers, with my misgivings about the recent, ahem, “elections.” Nor am I going to insist that “my president isn’t Bush” and all that twaddle we experienced those four long, arduous years ago. No, friends, I am going to move forward; I am going to strike back; I am going to make this country a more livable - or at least more bearable - place to be. That’s right, like all those other brave souls, I am going to take part in the silent protest of choice of the marginalized population that is America’s youth: e-mail.
Like many of my comrades between the ages of 18 and 29, I am going to participate in the largest forwarding of wry, satirical e-mail images this world has ever seen! The sorrow I felt “the morning after” (that was akin to a breakup, a hangover, and a lost bet all rolled into a rancid burrito in which we are all forced to indulge) will be transformed into the righteousness of our growing impudence. With such able sass smoldering just beneath the surface, we will remove our secondhand corduroy caps, and in a glorious unison of kitschy attire and funky attitude, we will yell: “Poo on you hegemons!”
Not only will I forward these e-mails, I will attempt to make one of my own and distribute it in accordance with the free and true spirit of the Internet. Yahoo, Hotmail, Comcast, and the new and exclusive Gmail - all these accounts will be flooded with finely honed wit.
It could be as big as, dare I say it, the one with the kitten whose life depended on the restraint of our selfish sexual desire. Just as that cat entreated us to halt our lewd behavior for a higher purpose, so too will my e-mail force chortles from even the sternest of my fellow liberals.
For, as we all know, only our sense of humor will see us through in the Brave New World of Bush the Younger’s Second Ministry.
We must recognize that the revolution will not come from above - Gore has become a sugar addict,
Clinton is living the ex-officio high life, Nader is ... well, he went insane and moved to a distant planet defined only by its attention to safe industry standards and creepy political sermons. Our revolution can only come from below. We must take the lead.
My pending creation will not be enough. It is up to all of us to push the envelope; we are all in this together, and don’t you dare delete the forwards that tie us to one another. These loose strings of connection, this web of similar tastes in absurd humor, will be woven tightly into fabric that will be spread - like an afghan on a five-dollar love seat - over the whole of America’s four-year colleges of liberal arts.
Get out your pens and markers, open Microsoft Paint, make a zany collage of images gleaned from the darkest corners of Google’s image search. I implore you in the name of whatever force you find currently appealing (except Scientology) to help me.
I see a day, my friends, when our cheeky endeavor will pay off. These e-mails will push forward the construction an electronic Phoenix that will rise from the ashes of Election Day and smite the Hydra of America’s angst.
The choice is ours, so please join me.
You can start by joining my mailing list, and I promise not to forward you too much. I hate it when people do that.
On second thought, forget the whole thing - I’m not a very good artist.
Posted by msveum at November 16, 2004 11:18 AM
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