Oracle Online

My response to this democratic call to arms is this: Do I care? I couldn’t be any less concerned with what imbecile or automaton controls the White House. Thoughts regarding federal bills and/or the environment occupy about as much space in my mind as the question of whether or not I should order extra butter for my popcorn. The current economic quagmire plays second fiddle to my quest for the last slice of pizza in Sorin before a football player enters the vicinity.
Most pertinently, there are two reasons why I obstinately refuse to vote and instead chose to subvert the objectives of democracy so that I may sustain my being slothful. Firstly, the majority of people do not deserve to vote. This responsibility ought to be accorded to a particular sect. Secondly, a dictatorship is superior to a democracy.

It was Alexander Hamilton who said it best when he referred to his hometown brethren as, if I may paraphrase, slack-jawed knaves whose nominal faculties were ill-suited for the mental demands inherent in voting. Yes, if you are not as intelligent as was Alexander Hamilton - who authored the modern banking system - then you don’t deserve to punch the ballot. Furthermore, the common folk (everyone besides the wealthiest 10 percent) must know that just because they are irrevocably affected by political decisions doesn’t mean that they’re entitled to influence important social, legal, and economical aspects of their lives.

Only the most affluent of American citizens should be granted permission to vote. Voting records indicate that a disproportionably large amount of wealthy Americans come out in droves to the ballot boxes. The government might as well bar anyone not making at least $100,000 from all voting centers. Why not have the greediest and most selfish cadre of people virtually dictate how this country is run.

Or why don’t we just scrap voting altogether and construct a dictatorship. This way every vital decision will be made for you. You won’t have to trouble yourself with issues such as taxes, war, and the curtailment of civil liberties. People wouldn’t get worked up about political disenfranchisement and consequently jeopardize their lives by battling against oppressive forces in the streets because everyone would be confined to his or her domicile from 9:30 p.m.
until 6:00 a.m.

Doesn’t this all sound like the utopia for which humanity has been striving? All we need now is suffocating apathy to swarm college campuses nationwide and for those glorious words to ring out from the mouths of the masses: I’M ONLY ONE PERSON, WHAT CAN I DO? If you agree with and are pleased by everything I’ve said, then by all means don’t vote on Nov. 2, and let history take its gloomy course without you.